When Patriarchy Comes to Work.

Patriarchy comes to work when the same socially expected norms of gender relations under different guises are reflected in work policies. Men issue commands, and women better obey them. In patriarchal thinking, at home or in the office, a man commands.

Patriarchy comes to work robed in professional language and ethics that frames assertive women as "problematic."

I have seen patriarchy at work when toxic male colleagues pretend to be rescuing a supposed “victim” of a woman in authority while harming the victim in a way they can never publicly declare.

Believe me, I have seen patriarchy at work when men deem it difficult to work with a woman in leadership.

I saw patriarchy at work when that senator talked down to Dr. Oby Ezekwesili, and no man stood up to reprimand him because he was doing what they all wanted to do and secretly applauded.

You see patriarchy when Senator Natasha sits on a committee and her attempt to make a remark is overruled because the chair, who is a man, believes he is “the head."

I have seen patriarchy at work in the name of dress code; men come to work discombobulated, the tie is facing Lokoja, the belt is facing Kano, and the shoe says, "I could be better if you cleaned me," but all of that is men being men, while as a woman, your skirt should be sweeping Lagos.

Patriarchy comes to work when students see male authority as legitimate, but a woman who exerts authority definitely has a bad marriage.

I have seen patriarchy come to work dressed as a woman. When women embody and speak patriarchy.

It also comes dressed as a man. Years ago, one professor called me “the girl” and my married colleague "madam" until I had an "orientation meeting" with him.

Patriarchy cohort race: when you genuflect and cower to white women even though you call them by their first name, but you call Black women by name and still disrespect us. I had to tell someone in the most loving way I could summon, "I am not Rosemary to you; I am Dr. Rosemary Popoola." When I finished my first PhD, you were still struggling with your first degree. Add respect to my name. The people I have had this conversation with are young male African graduate students and a few people who don’t look like me. I don't mind being called by my name by people who knew me from my undergrad days and people without misogynist energy.

If you are in the academy, patriarchy can weaponize students against you. They will call students into their office and ask if you are “treating them well." They make students believe female faculty are their problem. Particularly, they target women who are independent and assertive.

They will call the married female faculty member Dr. (Mrs.) X, believing they are spitting on the divorcee, widow, and unmarried women. Patriarchy is adept at pitting us against one another, and regrettably, some women find enjoyment in it. Especially when they anoint you against a woman, you should be collaborating, not competing with.

In celebration of Women’s Month, I am here to say it is time we fire patriarchy