"Why did Obi visit Benin? " Shebi, they told him not to come?" Parental guidance is advised.

When my grandmother lived with us in Abuja, it was not unusual for her and our last-born to chase each other all over the entire house because of something as basic as a TV remote control. We had one TV. Furthermore, it is said that our lastborn has both the kindness and character of my late grandfather, and as a lookalike of her late husband, sometimes they both bicker over mundane things like the TV remote control.

You see, I can always get my grandmother to release the TV remote to me if she has not yet said her Muslim prayers or taken her afternoon nap. These are two things my mother told her she must do.

This is how I go about getting the remote control.

First, I showed no interest in the TV control. Second, I will ask my grandmother with indifference, "Mama, have you said your prayers?" ("Se eti kirun") If she says no, I can take the remote. I will then ask, "When do you plan to pray?" She would say, "I will do everything together later." Then I will tell her, "What did your daughter (my mother) tell you about merging all the hours of prayer together?" If she has done her prayer and taken her nap, I will look for other things she hasn't done. For instance, I might ask her for details about her prayer. I will ask if she completed all the rituals of her Muslim prayers. "Mama, see e yo nafila? Nafila melo le yo? Anyway, it is better that you do what you should do before your daughter comes back. If she hasn't done this and I told her her daughter is on her way home, Mama relinquishes the remote control and carries her kettle.

Mama was respectfully scared of my mom, not because she was abusive but because she was one of her most caring kids. My mom was her first daughter, serving as her husband since my grandfather was late. Also, it is often said that "the child becomes the father of the man." It is when you start parenting your parent because dynamics have changed.

Moreover, in film/TV, they write or say, “Parental guidance is advised," as a caution for certain content and to protect children.

To my mind, it is not only parents who should guide children; at some point, children may also need to guide their parents.

Mum, what you post is cringy.

Dad, please don't talk like that.

Aunty, that comment on Facebook is insensitive; go and delete it

If your parents, uncles, or relatives are among those trivializing what happened to Peter Obi in Benin, this is the time to use parental guidance.

If your parents are among those asking why Obi did not listen to the governor, parental guidance is now advised.

Some of you should be babysitting some adult in your corner.

We are gathering receipts.

When we show you your receipt a few years down the line, "forgive and forget" will be meaningless.

Ko omo kilo fun Iya and Baba won o.

I have said I am distancing myself from Nigeria, but patriotism and humanity have seduced me again.